Today is all about cornhole. The game, not the metaphor for the risks of holiday work parties.

Today is all about cornhole. The game, not the metaphor for the risks of holiday work parties.

By the time you read this, I may be engaged in revelry the likes of which Western civilization has never witnessed. Yes, that means I’ll be at my workplace’s annual holiday party.

Fortunately, just yesterday I was able to benefit from reading a helpful compilation of tips on surviving and thriving at your office party.

Yes, the essay is aimed at law office parties. But I think the messages Adrian Ballinger conveys are universal:

  • Think before you talk and act.
  • Stay hydrated, but ixnay on the intoxication.
  • Chat with folks—even some you don’t normally work with—but don’t overdo it. They can only take so much of you.
  • Don’t overstay your welcome. They’re co-workers, not family.

For too many of us, office parties are an opportunity for unfortunate missteps.

Probably his most important advice—ignored too often—is that you are AT WORK while you’re at a holiday party. Disregard that counsel at your peril.

So Adrian’s advice was great, but our own workplace—the State Bar of Arizona—has the added wrinkle that there will be competitive sport involved—cornhole, to be precise.

In case you’re unfamiliar with the game, I offer the research gleaned from Wikipedia. Plus my own advice: Be careful Googling cornhole at work. Be ready to avert your gaze.

Our estimable party committee (they have a more formal name, but I like that one) must have anticipated the rivalries that will ensue when we gather at the restaurant Culinary Dropout at The Yard. (A photo of cornhole at The Yard is below.)

The cornhole field of battle at The Yard. Eight people enter ... and eight people leave. (I know, not too dramatic, right?)

The cornhole field of battle at The Yard. Eight people enter … and eight people leave. (I know, not too dramatic, right?)

How do I know? Well, via email, they provided … the rules of cornhole.

Um. The rules of tossing a beanbag into a hole?

Not just that. It turns out 16 bullet points are needed to explain the intricacies of those cornhole regulations.

Understand, I am not being critical. I know exactly why they’re acting this way: Because crazy competitive.

Many folks here at the State Bar of Arizona are likely in Olympic-level practice sessions, all while I sit at my desk and type. God bless ‘em, they WILL crush the cornhole competition.

Meanwhile, I’ll be looking for a Moscow Mule at The Yard’s accommodating bar. Because the holidays are about all of our diverse interests. And the kids. Always the kids.

Enjoy your own holiday parties. And be careful out there.

The only kind of stubborn I like to encounter in a bar: the Moscow Mule.

The only kind of stubborn I like to encounter in a bar: the Moscow Mule.