I have seen Fridays come and Fridays go. But this one was a long time coming.

As it is Change of Venue Friday, I wanted to share a bit of the silliness of legalese that jumbles up our daily life.

Here are a few of those legal lingo signs, from the great blog psclarify. It is written by Dianne Rosky. Her site’s bailiwick? “Observations on language, law, and the convoluted, hot-air-filled phenomenon known as legal writing.”

The author performs some deft autopsies on the legalese found on poolside signs. Take a look here and here.

While I’m at it, though, I have to share a few photos my daughter shot in downtown Phoenix. The site is CityScape, the new mall that occupies the space that had been Patriots Park. The stores and storefronts ring the property, and in the center sits some concrete and what is called a “splashpad”—a flat surface from which water spurts from hidden jets. Pretty mild stuff, altogether. No chance of drowning, and less chance of getting cooled off during an Arizona summer.

But the weakness of the risk did not dissuade the mall’s management. They opted to post a sign that would strike fear into anyone who took a moment to read it.

Note to legalese drafters: Any time you find the urge to mention boils, infections or plastic pants, you may have gone too far.

And don’t miss the typo in Directive Number 3. Now, I can never pass the place without thinking, “That’s the Wali Ways Mall.”

Have a great weekend.

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