Here we are, firmly in the crushing, loving, strangling embrace of the holidays—and I haven’t gotten you anything.

For a short escapade into a Change of Venue-kind of holiday, I give you … some odd holiday ornaments.

(I’m working on a new laptop keyboard and inadvertently typed “pornaments”! Now THAT would be a Christmas story.)

The first you may enjoy reminds us that of all the most treasured holiday gifts, smoked and cured meats most assuredly rank as number one. I give you … the bacon ornament

I have heard from many of you who find the holidays a troubling, treacly time, and that they would like to dissolve the sugar-plum fairies in a hot rum toddy. For them, we wise men give you the “Chimera,” a creepy bird-legged ornament:

For those of us who decorate for the holidays, our perennial challenge is always the same: Where o where can I locate attorney holidayana? Sure, draping old wills, proxy statements and billing records on the tree will work for most years, but what if you want something truly special?

I give you the classic Snoopy lawyer ornament, the origianl Legal Beagle:

And just so you know that I foist on my own household the same legal jollies that I urge on you, here is a photo of our very own tree a la Eigo, where my ornament of the U.S. Supreme Court hangs in a place of prominence.

 

Yes, I bought that ornament in the Court’s own gift shop. I have recommended that they rename it “The Commerce Claus” every December. Thus far, my capitalist cavil has not been granted cert.

Here is a final non-ornament offering to help fill all your holiday needs with the requisite snark. I give you some offerings from two women who have jauntily named their website Naughty Betty. Cheeky, that.

All of their offerings will bring a smile to your face, but I point you specifically to their holiday fare.

 

If you don’t like that, you may always opt for the proxy statements. Nothing adds the shine to Christmas morning more than a good SEC filing.

Have a great weekend.